Wise In Your Own Eyes

This morning, on the Steve Harvey Morning Show, the “Strawberry Letter” was from a woman who had been living with a man for 26 years unmarried, and wanted to know if she should leave. In response to the woman’s letter, guest host, sports columnist Stephen A. Smith, claimed that the woman was lying to herself by saying she wants to leave. He said that, apparently, the man was doing something right for her to stay with him for 26 years, and insinuated that the woman stop focusing on getting married and worry about just being happy.
While, to the untrained ear, the advice might sound good, there are two problems with this response.

First of all, it’s not biblical. No matter what our society tells us, men and women should not have sexual relations with each other outside the context of marriage. It’s called FORNICATION and it’s expressly called out in the Bible for being against God’s will.

The second problem with this response is that it doesn’t address the woman’s main problem, which is that this woman has a serious lack of respect and esteem for herself. She clearly wants to be married to this man. That is why she is now contemplating whether she should leave. But, if marriage was really her original goal, she went about it all the wrong way.

Ladies, please know that guys will likely NOT MARRY YOU unless there’s some sort of incentive to. The old expression “why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free” holds true. Guys are hunters. We are goal oriented. And if we really like or want you, we will do whatever we must do to get you.

So, if you want to be married, please hold out until you are. If a man can’t wait for you and won’t make a commitment to you, then he wasn’t really right for you anyway.

But more importantly, Stephen A. Smith’s advice/opinion on the situation concerns me. As Christians, we must remember that we are called not to live according to our own wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and opinions, but rather that of God.

I don’t know whether Mr. Smith is a Christian or not, but what I do know is that he clearly didn’t consult with God or His word before giving his response. God gives us the Holy Spirit for exactly that purpose – so that we can decipher His will for our lives. So, when you’re giving advice to someone, please make sure it’s Godly advice and NOT just your own opinion.

God bless,
J.W.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-7