Under My Umbrella

What happens when your dream becomes a nightmare? When the thing you wanted the most is taken away from you? When reaching your goals seems near, and then is snatched away from you, just like that? What happens to your faith, your spirit, your will to go on, when the thing God has promised you is in your sights, but just doesn't turn out to be what you thought it would?

Answer: You learn to trust in Jesus. You learn that your ways are not always His ways. You learn that no matter what, God is concerned and He's working things out for you.

Make no mistake about it: if God said it, then He'll do what He said He would do. It may not happen the way in which YOU planned it. But we have to learn to let go, and let God; to take our hands off of the steering wheel and let Him drive.

As I write, I'm reminded of the story about the man stuck on top of his roof in the middle of a flood. Three times, rescuers passed by with boats, ready to take the man into safety, and three times, the man refused the help, saying "God promised He would come by and save me. I don't need your help!" When the man died in the flood, and he got to Heaven, he asked God, "why didn't you come and rescue me?!!" Perplexed, God replied, "I did, three times, but each time you refused my help!"

The moral of the story is, God may not come when (and how) you want Him, but He's always right on time! Trust Him and he shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

God bless,

J.W.

Speak To Me

Not to say this in a bragging way at all, but I’ve always felt like I had a purpose for my life. Even when I didn’t know who God was or what He was, I always knew that I was destined for greatness; and looking back, I can see how God has always had a profound effect upon my life.

As I grew up and entered my teenage years, however, I struggled with my faith. Not that I didn’t believe in God, because I did. In fact, to this day, I still believe that it is impossible to look at all that is around us (the trees, the birds, every living and non-living thing on this earth) and not see that there is, at the very least, some sort of intelligent designer behind it all. However, it was because of this fact, because this all-knowing, omnipresent, all-powerful being had created the entire world, that I struggled to believe that God actually cared about what was going on in my life. “Why would He care about me,” I would ask myself. Why would the creator of everything – the earth, the moon, the stars, the human species as a whole – care whether I lived or died, ate or starved, succeeded or failed? Why would he care one way or the other? There were more important things to worry about than whether a little black boy from Baltimore became something or not.

And it was with this mindset, that I headed off to college, where my life would change forever. For it was here that I had my first, real personal encounter with God. It began through daily prayer, and ended when I began to talk differently, think differently, and view the world from an entirely different perspective. For the first time, I truly understood the song “Amazing Grace” where it says “I once was blind but now I see.”

Over the next four years, God gave me all types of visions, granting me the ability to see into my future and the impact that I would have on this world. I finally understood why I was different than those around me. I finally understood why my life was the way it was. God had a plan for my life, and I could finally see it clearly. In God, I found peace, shelter – in short, I found a home; and my life finally made sense.

It was this newfound feeling that I had that drove me to finish college and go on to start and run my own company, developing the careers of aspiring performers in the entertainment industry and working to make their dreams come true. But somehow, along the way, that newfound feeling got lost. Things didn’t go the way I planned. The business didn’t take off like I thought it should. A young lady entered my life and made me change my plans. Thoughts of an entirely different life than the one I envisioned began to creep in my head, and the fear of not accomplishing my goals began to take hold.

But, ever determined and committed, I continued to push forward, even to the point of uprooting my entire life to move to New York, not to pursue my own selfish goals, but all to fulfill the purpose that I believed was given to me. But somehow, I find myself right back where I started, wondering how a God with so much power and wisdom would care about me and whether I succeed or fail. Maybe I had moved to New York with the misconception that God was behind me, when, the whole time, it was my own excitement that pushed me forward. Maybe God really just didn’t have time to worry about a guy like me. I found myself lacking purpose, motivation, and a sense of personal connection with God. Again, not that I didn’t believe in Him, but I just didn’t think that I was worthy of His time, attention, and care. Like Celie in The Color Purple, I felt like God didn’t care about me.

So, what do you do in that situation? What do you do when you feel like God isn’t speaking anymore? When I first came to know God, He spoke to me everyday, leading and guiding me step-by-step to the man I was supposed to become. He gave me visions and allowed me to dream dreams beyond my imagination. But what if all that stops and all you’ve got left are memories of what once was?

If you find yourself in that situation, first of all, know that you are not alone. Plenty of people throughout the Bible have come to points in their lives when they felt like God had abandoned them. Job, for instance suffered through years of pain and misery. Jonah stayed three days and three nights in the belly of a whale, with no escape in sight. Even Jesus, upon the cross, exclaimed “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Mark 15:34)”

But in all these instances, know that God always had a purpose in the pain. Job not only glorified God by maintaining his faith through all that he went through, but he got back double what was taken from him (Job 42:10). Jonah, after openly disobeying God’s instruction, was given a second chance to travel to Nineveh and save an entire city from destruction. And lastly, Jesus, after being hung on the cross, got up on the third day with all power in His hands.

So, when you feel like God has abandoned you and just doesn’t care anymore, first know that there’s a purpose for your pain. Second, stay faithful to God for He will bring you through. And third, as Joyce Meyer says, just continue to do whatever He told you to do last, for the Bible says that the race is not given to the swift but to he that endures to the end,” which tells us that while we are running a long, difficult race, while there will be trials and there will be hardships, in the end, there is a reward. So keep your eyes on the prize (Philippians 3:12-16) and your heart to God and He will see you through.

God bless,
J.W.

I Believe

This past Sunday, Michele and I went to the Broadway Theater in the heart of Manhattan to see "The Color Purple" starring American Idol winner and J Records recording artist Fantasia Barrino. It was a very entertaining show, and to anyone who loves the theater, Fantasia, and/or "The Color Purple," or if anyone just wants to see a good show, I would strongly recommend that you see this musical.

However, in the week leading up to the show, I had mixed emotions about the play. First of all, Fantasia is one of my favorite singers, if not THE favorite, so I couldn't wait to see her live and in person. Secondly, however, I am not a very big fan of theater, so I wasn't sure how I was going to like it. On top of all of that, while I had seen the film version of "The Color Purple" before, I didn't really remember too much about the story except that Danny Glover, Whoopie Goldberg, and Oprah starred in it.

Well, after seeing the Broadway version of the story, I've come to realize exactly how inspiring, uplifting, and spiritual the story really is. While it is about a lesbian, domestic violence, and adultery, it's also about the resiliency of the human spirit to rise above life's trials. It's also about the importance of self-dignity, self-worth, and self-respect. But more importantly, it's about hope and faith in something greater than ourselves.

Throughout the musical, we watch as Celie, the main character, whose physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by both her father and her husband, struggles to find her faith in God. At the beginning of the story, Celie prays constantly to God. She prays for her children, who have been taken away from her by her father. She prays for her sister, who aspires to be a schoolteacher. And she prays for herself, that God might deliver her out of her situation.

However, over time, as the situations and people in her life continually beat her down, Celie loses faith in God, who she believes would not allow her to go through what she's been through if He really cared for her. "God ain't never did nothing for me," Celie exclaims, as every thing and every one that she's ever really loved is taken away from her, including her children, her sister, and later, her lover, Shug Avery.

But, by the end of the play, God has restored everything that Celie has lost and given her so much more. Celie finally comes to realize that God purposely allowed those hardships to take place in her life so that she might become a better person, that she might see beauty in herself even though people call her ugly, and lastly, that she might believe that she can have God's best for her life despite her situation.

And that, I think, is a message that we should apply to our lives as well, that no matter what our circumstances are, no matter what situation we find ourselves in, we can have God's best for our lives if we just keep believing. So, if you haven't seen the play already, please see it. It will inspire, uplift, and motivate you to keep believing in yourself and in God.

Many blessings,
J.W.